I was recently asked to participate in an upcoming post on my friend Maisie-Rose's new blog, sharing my experience leaving secret notes. In the process of responding to Maisie-Rose, I realized how much her simple kindness task had changed my outlook over the past year. Truth be told, I feel like I have finally started to LIVE my life, the way it is intended to be lived. I only made one intentional change that allowed this happen, and I'm excited to share the secret: I started focusing on others rather than myself. Such a simple concept, I know-- but it's harder than it sounds! The Internet makes it so hard to not seek validation all the time. We are always looking for more likes, more |
Often, when we put others first, we do so as a way to feel proud of ourselves. I used to be a product of this, and at times, I still am. You volunteer for a cause and then share your good deed on social media. The support comes pouring in, and you feel like you have earned a nice pat on the back.
When I started leaving secret notes one year ago, it was the first time I made a commitment to doing something good in a quiet way. At the time, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with life. I have a tendency to want everything to be tied up with a nice little bow, but it felt like my life was a bit like a ponytail on a windy day-- held together by a string and flying uncontrollably in all directions. I thought that, at the very least, leaving secret notes would allow me to read a piece of good advice each day.
The idea behind secret notes is simple: leave a positive, inspiring, uplifting quote for someone else to find. You have no way of knowing who your note has reached or if it made any impact. You simply leave something good in the universe, and you let the universe take it from there.
The first note I left said, simply: Be Brave. Leaving it at a bus stop in Washington, DC felt strangely unfinished. Would someone appreciate seeing it? Would it get thrown away without a second glance? How would I know what happened? I pondered the proverbial 'if a tree falls in the forest and no one was there to hear it, did it make a sound?' I wondered, "If I did something kind but no one recognizes it, did I make a difference?"
Over the coming days, weeks and months, I continued to leave secret notes in my daily life. The process, over time, changed how I look at things. Rather than trying to control the outcome, I learned to do something kind just for the sake of being kind. Not looking for a reaction or a thank you, I started to feel better about myself as a person because I was thinking of myself less. I learned to overlook the negative in life because I was overwhelmed thinking of all the positives.
Not to mention, that positivity I was leaving behind at some point started to follow me around. It has now found a place in my heart and has settled there comfortably. I have been lucky to find a great group of friends from around the world who, like me, have found the joy in focusing not on themselves but on trying to make others feel loved and supported. They remind me each day that in being kind to others, I am being kind to myself.
I share this with the hope that someone else may join the movement of quiet kindness as well. When I started leaving secret notes, I did so because I felt that I wasn't leading a valuable life. Without knowing it at the time, I was seeking out something that would make me feel like I was contributing in a positive way to the world around me. And, thankfully, I have found it. Won't you join me?