Ever since losing my mother a couple of years ago, I have found myself making an effort to be more present. Especially when I am with my friends and family, I make an extra effort to distance myself from my phone and enjoy the company of those I'm with. Making the memories is a one-time opportunity, and sharing them with the rest of the world on social media, through texting or via a telephone call can wait! |
Recently though, as my extended family gathered to celebrate my dad's 77th birthday, I received an eye-opening reminder: staying disconnected is sometimes harder than we think. My husband and I sat and watched my dad tear up as he watched a homemade video of his children and grandchildren talking about their favorite memories with him. We watched him grin as he read the heartfelt messages in his birthday cards. Unfortunately, as I looked around the room, I noticed the rest of the family was checked out-- listening to music, watching YouTube videos and laughing among themselves. As my dad looked up from a card to say 'thank you' at one point, silence followed as it took several seconds for the gifter to look up from a cell phone and realize he was talking to them.
Modern day life is tough. Our minds move a million miles a minute and we are always thinking about what's next. As we try to be present, we may realize that we forgot to respond to an important email, we need to make a reminder about an errand that needs to be run before we forget... the list of excuses goes on and on. There is always something that has the ability to pull us away from the present-- if we let it.
This year, as my husband and I rang in the New Year, we talked about our personal goals for the upcoming year. We had one in common: to be more present. In the days before cell phones and the Internet, many tasks fell to the wayside, many inefficient second (and sometimes third) trips to the grocery store were needed and many friendly greetings or well wishes came apologetically after-the-fact (remember those "Happy Belated Birthday" cards people used to send, before the days of Google Calendar and Facebook Birthday alerts)?
So often, we think of 'acts of kindness' as those things that are clearly, obviously nice. Holding the door for someone, giving up a seat in a crowded place or paying for person behind you in a drive thru line are of course great ways of showing kindness. But, as I was recently reminded, sometimes, the easiest way for you to be kind to others is by giving them your time and attention... by being present.
As hard as it might be, this year, will you join me in the quest to give the gift of your PRESENCE? Wherever you are, whoever you're with... try to soak it in. Moments come only once, and time is one thing you can never get back.