I've come to believe that one of the most important skills you can master in life is understanding your circumstances. By this, I mean acknowledging how your life is different that that of others you encounter, and adjusting your outlook accordingly. This is by no means an easy challenge, and it is one that I openly struggle with on a near-daily basis. I recently had the experience of attending a celebratory ceremony for some youngsters who-- as a collective group-- haven't faced |
I'll be honest: I didn't go into the experience with the most accepting mindset. As I walked in to take my seat, I believed that the ceremony was kind of a politically correct way of giving these kids-- who many would see as slackers or goof offs-- the same recognition as students who had earned the recognition. These youth didn't adhere to the same timeline and requirements as others, I believed, and therefore, they were less deserving.
As I watched the youngsters as they were recognized individually, I noticed that, contrary to the friends and family members hooting and hollering in the audience, they were themselves quite somber. As I watched one of them look up at the family members cheering, she straightened, lifting her head higher as if to give herself a pat on the back. And in that moment, it hit me: how much harder this journey must have been for her, I thought. How much harder this journey must have been for ALL of these kids, compared to what I experienced growing up, and compared to the group before them, which I had previously deemed to be superior.
I was embarrassed at the judgement I had passed and tears came to my eyes as I thought of the extraordinary circumstances many of these young people pushed through to get where they did. They demonstrated true perseverance and they deserved incredible amounts of respect.
In the days since, I have also recalled a time years ago when I visited with a family that lives a significantly more elegant lifestyle than I. This particular group gave off the impression that they cared deeply about status and being admired for physical things that they had acquired. I will never forget sitting with the group and remaining uncomfortably in silence as they took turns bragging about the types of Rolex watches they each owned. I realized at the time that I was being judged for not fitting in with their standards and ideals of success.
As someone who was raised by an incredible and humble family, I was taught that physical wealth is nothing compared to the riches of a good character. At the time of the Rolex incident, I was in awe that anyone would so openly judge me for something so silly-- rather than caring to learn about me and my character. At the time of the recent celebration, it was I who passed judgement, and I was ashamed.
This is the problem with the world we live in: judgement is passed to openly, and often, without regret. And sadly, it tends to be contagious. Judge and be judged. But each of us faces struggles that are unseen by the world around us. And more importantly, each of us has a unique characteristic that makes us important to the world-- we each have our own bright light within that has the potential to change the world if others only take the time to seek it out.
I guess what I'm getting at is this: we are all human. Each of us was born with some shortcomings, and at some point or another, we have all received some lucky breaks.
Rather than judging others for being different, we should instead recognize where our circumstances differ. In those differences lie extreme potential to enact change. In learning to understand people who differ from us, we are bettering ourselves and we are changing the way we view the world. And when we change the way we view the world, when we see each others as individuals rather than pegs on a social hierarchy scale, we are doing our part to help move the world toward a day with no judgement. Join me, won't you?